Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Houston, we have a squirter
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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