So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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