period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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