Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize
