these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
