hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
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