The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
