Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
