Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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