I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Houston, we have a blender
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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