Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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