I accidentally burped into my bong.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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