I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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