Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.

Fav 37 6056 932
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(314): View more from Missouri

Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong

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(806): View more from Texas

at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time

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(239): View more from Florida

im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.

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(614): View more from Ohio

Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.

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