for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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