I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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