Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
