yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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