Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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