your room smells of hookers.
And success
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
