this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Still dying that you shit outside
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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