No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
