I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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