In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
