Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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