If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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