i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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