Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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