Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize