yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
