You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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