I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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