Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
