Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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