I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
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