I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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