Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
