Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Princesses don't give blow jobs
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
