New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
