I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
