Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
