I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
