nut hugger
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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