We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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