I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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