Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
