At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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