I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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