i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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