she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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