Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
