Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
