I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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