Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
