Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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