I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
someone owes me an orgasm
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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