Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
