just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
