He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
