Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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