We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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