It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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