Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(705): View more from Ontario

he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me

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(310): View more from California

i was born a porn star she said

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.

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(517): View more from Michigan

I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...

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(336): View more from North Carolina

You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.

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(513): View more from Ohio

My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.

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(563): View more from Iowa

I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?

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(703): View more from Virginia

Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.

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(530): View more from California

am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision

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