no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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