He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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