saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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