used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
