Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I don't think brook has ever known best
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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